50 REASONS NOT TO DATE A GRAPHIC DESIGNER

by whomovedmyslippers

Got this depressing list from here. Depressing because even though I’m not a graphic designer ( just a rather huge wannabe), I display quite a number of the traits mentioned below. Well, that explains why I don’t have a date.

1. They are very weird people.
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.
3. They will analyse conversations in layers. (check)
4. You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA. (check – OMG my idea of a perfect date!)
5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging. (check – Oh come on, if these were meant tobe eaten by dogs they wouldn’t be so nicely designed! Obviously it’s meant for human consumption.)
6. They hate each other.
7. You’ll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits. (not me, but joy…)
8. They cant change a light bulb or without making a sketch.
9. They fuck up all the tables with their cutters. (check – ok not all… just one or two)
10. They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say.
11. They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings.
12. You never know if it is really an original or a copy.
13. They make collages with your photos.
14. They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters. (check – recently I’m becoming worse at math)
15. They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his colleagues.
16. They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes.
17. They ask your opinion about everything but  they do whatever they want. (check)
18. Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late. (CHECK)
19. They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica. (CHECKCHECKCHECK)
20. They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one.
21. You can not decorate the house without consulting them. (check – my house, my rules)
22. They steal street signs. (O MY SISTER DID!! don’t ask.)
23. Always carry their hands painted with something. (check)
24. They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint.
25. Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …
26. When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately)
27. Do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book.
28. They hate Excel. (check – WITH A BURNING PASSION… ok not so much after I realised you can do this with Excel)
29. They read comics.
30. They want to save the world only with a poster. (check – it’s possible alright)
31. You will spend the day brainstorming. (check – making a mental note not to do this on the first date … maybe the fifth one?)
32. On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and have no beach.
33. Museums are their second home.
34. They know more positions than the Kamasutra.
35. They can’t go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design. (check – only that I do so openly)
36. They listen to music you have never heard of.
37. They can´t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.
38. They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics … (check)
39. When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.
40. They have own iPods before you knew they existed.
41. The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia.
42. They have their own shops just for them and there are the most expensive in the city.
43. They want to spend all the money in the Apple Store. (check)
44. You will never understand their gifts.
45. They see ordinary objects and laugh.
46. You wake up in the middle of the night hearim them screaming “When is the deadline?” (check)
47. They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.(check – ok actually i dunno what tt means)
48. They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs. (CHECK – AMEN)
49. They rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift. (check – wait, u mean the font is not my special birthday gift?? :(((( )
50. They are always sleepy because they work 24/7. (check – well the first part of the sentence is accurate)

21 out of 50! (I hope I counted correctly… refer to pt 14) Not too bad. Explains 42% of why I’m not getting a date.

-cxy

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